Admission

You are made of cherry juice, love and little bits of gossip. And I love you.
You look like the tree that looks like the Japanese cherry blossom tree..you gurgle like a brook
you are soft and touch me gently.And I love you
My puppy, you are. funny and panther like..you smell like my favorite boy and remind me of him and sometimes you are even more you then he was him. And you protect me and know me and still are kind to me.I love you
You are the only one of your kind..you are lonely, I can see that. You can't see that I am too. You see too much and often don't see me. Without you though...I wouldn't see me. And, in this way, everyday you make me and everyday you break me. And yes..though I have to try to not hate you - I do , undoubtedly love you.
Your are the mother ship to whom me and all my kindred souls return. We turn to you..in our dreams, in our prayers , on the phone and through tantrums  You are the Earth upon which this delightful family tree stands. You are the love I can never express in words..yet, I can say simply - I love you.
Your simplicity and strength have taught me that nothing penetrates love inspired action. You are clean, pure and care enough to not have to say it. You just do. That teaches me. Like my child and like my  father everyday you teach me...though you don't need to hear it. I do Love you.
Everyday..for at least eight hours of my day..for most of my movement and stillness and my learning and unlearning you occupy more of my consciousness than you should. Every hour near you and away from you I am shaken and stirred and violently cut through by your presence and your rejection. You break my heart.. at least you remind me that it still beats and loves and waits for love. I wish I didn't , but I do...unwillingly, grudgingly, painfully Love every irritating, cruel , penetrating -through-me cell of you.

Salt.

Drinking the dew from your two am footsteps,
in the metallic reflections of this cold night
This wet night
This - our last night

The memory of your love
the smell of your deceit
as it breathes into me
As strong and salty as your warm hands on my skin
..like the taste of your tongue on mine

I remember
My flesh remembers
You are not alive to remember
None of you are

The mouth fills with greedy thirst
the kind that quenches itself with disgust and desire.
I taste with my flesh your warmth, blood and betrayal
Your betrayal- sweet, unlike your salty honest tongue.

My finger-bones want to touch the real end between us.
my legs fall open as I see the damage in the red glass,
The damage , my inside flesh has suffered from your in and out
and In and in and in and In.

Get out
now. You get the fuck out now
It is time for my decision to travel from my jaw and finger tips to my brain
my un-obeying mind. my naive inside flesh and my warm , mother-blood.

Stop.
I Stop now.
This
this... mother-ing, lover-ing, beg-ing and hope-ing
leave what was left behind so I can dance for the lungs beneath these ribs
.. and feel not tired
stop because nothing will make this burning unburn
stop because on this day the heart stops where words do not.

Completely directed fake encounters
Foolishly emulating what I see.
Your truth - Our lies
She was a child. A lover. A could have been-incdredible mother
She was a less wasted, more thoughtless , unremembered Me