Some of the random lessons that came to me today..
Blind people, because they can't see..or rather are not informed by the eye, perceive their existence and being in the world in one fundamentally different way to those who have sight. That is, they think of the world..be it the school, the bus stop, other people, meals or experiences , as coming to them as opposed to us , who go to the world. As my very inspiring and refreshingly wise teacher said today , "they bring the world into them".
This exchange was part of a contemporary dance class that I have recently started taking outside of my usual company training schedule. I think , when things get really crazy in my head and in the space we move in together everyday ( sometimes under quite a bit of pressure - physically, spatially and temporally) , I need to find a way to get less insular - step out..or as my teacher was saying today "look out "..in this case see that there is so much going on outside of my extremely sacred and intense , yet insular and somewhat limiting framework.. so much that is valid, meaningful and deeply moving.
I feel privileged often. Sometimes I forget to be grateful and am regretful and angry.
At work, I often get entwined into some complex play of memories and guilt about a boy I once loved. It can be hard seeing someone close to you.. far way in the same room. I suppose the fact that he is so explicitly untouched by me anymore and so willing to bend over backwards for a significant other person makes it harder..and above all this is the realization that I am so insecure and insipid.
These emotions they are sweeping and it takes me very long to shake myself free from under their spell.
I shall try to be like a baby..like tinkerbell.. let it pass through..know that it will pass through and I am not prisoner to this tumultuous saga!
You cannot make someone love or want you. Or even respect you.
I am lonely- yes this is sometimes an incredibly safe space.. but when the going gets tough.. it can be debilitating to not have anyone around.
I must try .. (how ironic this will sound)..but I will practice the art of doing "nothing". It really is a task and not many I know have or are close to achieveing it.
Blind people, because they can't see..or rather are not informed by the eye, perceive their existence and being in the world in one fundamentally different way to those who have sight. That is, they think of the world..be it the school, the bus stop, other people, meals or experiences , as coming to them as opposed to us , who go to the world. As my very inspiring and refreshingly wise teacher said today , "they bring the world into them".
This exchange was part of a contemporary dance class that I have recently started taking outside of my usual company training schedule. I think , when things get really crazy in my head and in the space we move in together everyday ( sometimes under quite a bit of pressure - physically, spatially and temporally) , I need to find a way to get less insular - step out..or as my teacher was saying today "look out "..in this case see that there is so much going on outside of my extremely sacred and intense , yet insular and somewhat limiting framework.. so much that is valid, meaningful and deeply moving.
I feel privileged often. Sometimes I forget to be grateful and am regretful and angry.
At work, I often get entwined into some complex play of memories and guilt about a boy I once loved. It can be hard seeing someone close to you.. far way in the same room. I suppose the fact that he is so explicitly untouched by me anymore and so willing to bend over backwards for a significant other person makes it harder..and above all this is the realization that I am so insecure and insipid.
These emotions they are sweeping and it takes me very long to shake myself free from under their spell.
I shall try to be like a baby..like tinkerbell.. let it pass through..know that it will pass through and I am not prisoner to this tumultuous saga!
You cannot make someone love or want you. Or even respect you.
I am lonely- yes this is sometimes an incredibly safe space.. but when the going gets tough.. it can be debilitating to not have anyone around.
I must try .. (how ironic this will sound)..but I will practice the art of doing "nothing". It really is a task and not many I know have or are close to achieveing it.
All the people we have loved and are in love with, constantly travel with us. We do not hold on to anybody. In reality, we are alone. Even amidst crowd. Once, you realise it you will never feel lonely. You are your best buddy!Miss you tons Diya.
ReplyDeletethought of you so many times today. feels surreal that we haven't danced together for more than a year. travel with me love. kiss
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