EMOTIONAL ATYACHAAR

I have decided that I will not allow myself anymore friendships that are not honest. When
I say honest I mean being able to really commuicate the uncomfortable stuff with an underlying faith in the intention of the other that allows one to be open to what they are suggesting.

Its very easy to use emotional blackmail. I find myself starting to looserespect for people who use certain phrases too often. I think "how can you do this to me?" tops the list, followed by "because of you...", "i never thought/did/felt...but you.." and so on. It is really quite easy to spot an emotional blackmailer but extremely difficult to say to them (and this has to be communicated at levels far out of reach of the tongue or words or voice) "I don't want to be in this situation WITH YOU " .Most blackmailers are exceedingly clever, they won't begin the blackmailing till they have already permeated deep into your being, captured your consciousness and stamped upon your will an indelible impression of their moral code. The idea is when you tell them how it is.. or how its not and the tools come out ,they don't look like weapons at all.These are no nuclear armaments or even granades,thay are beautifully rehearsed little peeps into how they now think of you - you are "so mean", "so rude"..."so selfish" and many more colorful adjectives all preceded by "SO" and of course you are immediately cast as the bad guy, the aggressor to this helpless victim who breaks down and is oh so innocent becuse they are willing to cry. The catch is ,you actually do give a shit!!! and this is the weapon they so deftly use, almost like the US in Afghanistan, defeating themselves with their preoccupation to save their misguided mision.

Its unrealisctic to say beware and dont fall for such persons..but thats crazy cos they are so very charming, have so much to offer and love is always a factor.

So how does one feel the love without the guilt, feel the empathy without being sucked dry of one's own energy and how the hell does one say "NO" or "i meant what said" to this melodamatic species of human who has won oscars for the role of 'victim' and whose self given moral title is a word not even coined except in her or his own head?
I atually wrote this a long time ago...looking back at it now it seems a bit too vehement and aggressive but i still mean what I say. There has to be a way to detect , im our social interactions, the game players, the games and the rewards and penalties of the human psychological network.All this has to be done only so that in our deficient human scale of perception 'love' is left pure...so that in all the confusion,ego conflict and power play, in all the respect or lack of it, the anger and the battle for space and bondage one recognizes that none of this matters in the realms of love. As I write this, I am still anrgy and bitterly dissappointed at my little personal emotional blackmailer ( the one who inspired this post)...but I cannot deny the surge of love I feel for her in spite of it all..an maybe even a little bit ,because of it!