pain

It occurs to me that pain is a really strange thing..its definitely not as simple as a physical or mental or auric or psychological factor..it is all encompassing and once its there,it finds its way through every little gate,crack,crevice or gap it can get its eyes on. Of course, its ironic that i'm talking about pain like its this evil little foreign entity that attacks you...this , I am fast discovering is not entirely the case..

Pain and its relationship with us ,the way we navigate our functionalism and existence through it and the way that it manifests in parts of us that it has not originated from ( or we think it has not originated from) is a huge teller about how we live our lives and our relationships with our selves...

"pain pain go away come again another day".....escapism..but this is dangerous because in the karmic scheme of things this is inviting a veritable tsunami of neuron misbehaviour and giving liscence to something that you will later want to shoot yourself for creating..

"no gain without pain" - this im afraid is what alot of dancers including myself are afflicted with.. we wear our wounds like war medals and while my 16 year old body looked quite dashing with these medals (though i might say so myself)..my 26 year old one wears them like a gorilla would wear stilettos or more like a mouse would wear its trap after it has snapped...

"Pay attention to pain - listen to your body"...this is the new mantra..or maybe its the old mantra,the original wisdom that we so predictably see past/through or don't see..but really how many of us really adhere to this, whether its a dancer with a ligament sprain or an IT professional with shooting pain in the back... or we actually listen..are we really prioritising?The logic would run something like this though i suspect it is never so articulated.."which pain is easier to bear the ankle or the crashing wave of self doubt and existential angst that accopanies forced rest for those who are used to physical expression and a regular endorphin overdose?"...or "would i reather put up with stiff fingers and finish this project tonight or put up with a pain in the ass boss and loads of pressure?"

and now the ceaseless pain of not knowing..of putting these questions out there and recieving no answers,road maps or tour guides..only hints and clues that hide themselves most deviously or are somehow invisible to our strong goal-oriented wills that maybe offer possible solutions...

lastly.."pain is your friend"....i guess this makes some sense..understand it..talk to it..sit down with it and a cup of coffee and ask why it behaves so...give it time and attention..don't ignore it or try to get rid of it immediately..it is telling you something extremely important.If only it were really that simple.. goodbye! am off to pop a pain killer before my next performance!